


Baby, baby

by thatsformetoknow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, College AU, Drunk Shiro, M/M, Miscommunication, Mpreg, also angst, and by that i mean total lack of it on shiros part, but its ok it has a happy ending its p soft, but theres more good things on the way, hunk is here for a little bit while lance cries, i dont actually have many tags for this uh, it really isnt, lance basically thinks his pregnancy symptoms are symptoms of heartbreak, shance are broken up at the start, soft, this isnt my best sorry yall, trans!Lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 21:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsformetoknow/pseuds/thatsformetoknow
Summary: He avoided having to see or think about Shiro as much as he could, but Lance still wasn’t doing well. He felt sick when he thought about him, and had even thrown up a few times. Hunk had said that he wasn’t running a fever, but had made him stay at home. He thought that by now he’d be doing better. He found himself doing the simplest of things, nothing to do with Shiro at all, and then just bursting into tears. It was fucking embarrassing.He didn’t know a broken heart would affect him like this… he kind of got what everyone was going on about now, in all the stupid love songs. It was awful. He just wanted Shiro back here , but also he wanted to slap him around the face. Lance couldn’t decide how he felt about the whole thing. Most of the time it was an overwhelming sadness and longing, sometimes he felt incredibly angry and sometimes he felt numb and indifferent. He was still throwing up, though, so it must have affected him more than he thought.The thought came over him one day, completely out of the blue. He wasn’t throwing up and he wasn’t crying, he wasn’t thinking about Shiro or anything in particular… He was sitting on his bed going through some school work.I’m pregnant.





	Baby, baby

It had only been a few weeks. It felt like both an eternity and no time at all, to Lance. The hurt was still fresh but he wasn’t crying himself to sleep anymore, and the days were sort of blurring together. He still didn’t know why Shiro had left him. He knew that Shiro had been a little distant recently, but… Lance had put that down to work stress and being overloaded with school work. He hadn’t thought that it had been a problem with their relationship, but here he was; single. 

He was coping, just about. He was twenty and he’d never been in love before now, and it hurt. He and Shiro had been together for around a year, and Lance had been convinced that they were going to be together forever, but Hunk has since told him that it always feels like that the first time. Lance didn’t care about always, he cared about them. 

The worst parts were when he still had to see Shiro. Over the past year their friend groups had merged into one, so if Lance wanted to hang out with their group of friends, it was likely that he’d see Shiro, too. Less so than he expected, which was good, though he wasn’t sure if Shiro was avoiding him or not. The other times were when Shiro was working. He had two jobs, one at the campus library in the evenings, and the other at the coffee shop, and he’d picked up quite a lot of shifts, recently. 

Lance of course, did sometimes have to go to the library, and due to his own schedule, he often saw Shiro there, and the coffee shop made just about the best coffee out of anywhere, and Lance _wasn’t_ going to let Shiro ruin it for him. They didn’t really talk when they ran into each other, just sort of… awkwardly looked at each other for a moment before one of them looked away first. 

It wasn’t great. 

He avoided having to see or think about Shiro as much as he could, but Lance still wasn’t doing well. He felt sick when he thought about him, and had even thrown up a few times. Hunk had said that he wasn’t running a fever, but had made him stay at home. He felt awful, too. He thought that by now he’d be doing better… but he wasn’t. He found himself doing the simplest of things, nothing to do with Shiro at all, and then just… bursting into tears. It was fucking embarrassing. 

He didn’t know that a broken heart would affect him like this… he kind of got what everyone was going on about now, in all the stupid love songs. It was awful. He just wanted Shiro back here with him, but at the same time, he wanted to slap him around the face. And maybe cry a bit- or a lot. 

Lance really couldn’t decide how he felt about the whole thing. Most of the time it was an overwhelming sadness and longing, sometimes he felt incredibly angry and sometimes he felt numb and indifferent. He was still throwing up, though, so it must have affected him more than he thought. 

The thought came over him one day, completely out of the blue. He wasn’t throwing up and he wasn’t crying, he wasn’t thinking about Shiro or anything in particular… He was sitting on his bed going through some school work. 

_I’m pregnant_.

Lance felt instantly sick at the thought, brushing it aside. He wasn’t pregnant, there was no way that he was _pregnant_. Shiro had been gone for… a month at least now, and the last time they’d slept together had been a few weeks before that, surely he would have had more symptoms by now. But he did keep throwing up. Lance wasn’t exactly sure about any _other_ symptoms of pregnancy, but he _did_ know that throwing up was one of them. 

He and Shiro were always safe though, weren’t they? They couldn’t… could it not have worked? No, Lance was being ridiculous. How could he be pregnant? He would have known before now, surely; the people on the ads always claim that they’re “already two weeks along!”, so how would they know and Lance not?

He put the thought out of his mind, going back to focusing on his work. He managed to keep it away for a couple more days, but after finding himself heaving on the bathroom floor again… it crept back into his mind. 

“Lance… maybe you should go to the doctor.” Hunk said worriedly from the doorway. “This has been going on for like… a week now, right? More? People don’t just keep throwing up for no reason, you could be sick.”

Lance nodded weakly, getting up to brush his teeth. Yeah, he’d go to the doctor. They’d tell him he had a stomach bug, or something. That was all. 

It was another few days before he did anything about it, finding his eyes catching on the pregnancy tests in the pharmacy. On the one hand, he could just get one, just take it and then the relief he’d feel when he found out he wasn’t pregnant would be amazing. On the other hand, he could go to the doctor, have to explain his whole situation about being trans to whoever he saw, and then have the possibility of someone _else_ telling him he was pregnant. But he wasn’t, so it would be fine. 

He wasn’t pregnant, so he could buy this test and take it home and do it, then he could throw it away and everything would be fine. Because he wasn’t pregnant. 

Later that evening, the two lines staring back at him told him otherwise. 

Lance was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing as he looked at the test, waiting for one of the lines to disappear. It didn’t. Two lines meant positive; two lines meant he was pregnant. 

The breath he finally did let out was shaky and accompanied by a small strangled noise. He nearly dropped the test as he put it down on the side, hands shaking violently as his eyes blurred with tears. 

This wasn’t happening. This was… there was no way that this was happening. They’d been safe, they’d always been safe, so why was this happening?

“Lance?” Hunk asked from outside the door as he gently rapped on it with his knuckles. “Are you alright?”

Lance held his breath as he tried to figure out whether he was being audible or not with his crying, and he figured that he probably was. 

“Um-” He said, voice breaking a little. He couldn’t lie to Hunk, he’d never been able to lie to Hunk. 

He sighed, wiping his eyes and getting up, going over to the door and unlocking it, looking at Hunk with tear filled eyes. Hunk frowned at him in concern, wrapping an arm around him and leading him out into the living room, sitting down on the sofa with him. 

“What’s going on?” He asked gently. 

Lance sniffed and took in a breath, and then another. “I’m pregnant.” He said, voice barely above a whisper and Hunk bit his lip. 

“Are- are you sure?” He asked and Lance huffed, averting his eyes. 

“Yes, I’m sure. Two lines means baby.” 

Hunk sighed sadly and pulled Lance against him, holding him tightly. “I’m sorry, Lance.”

I’m sorry. That wasn’t the reaction you got when you announced you were pregnant, it was congratulations. That wasn’t what you wanted when you told someone you were pregnant, but he supposed it was what Lance deserved. His boyfriend had left him and here he was… left with this. 

“Is it… Shiro’s?” Hunk asked and Lance sniffed again, giving a small nod. “Are you going to tell him?”

“How can I?” Lance asked with a sigh, raking his hand through his hair. “If I tell him, then he’ll be an idiot and get back together with me.”

“Isn’t that… I mean, don’t you want him to get back together with you?”

Lance glared at him, though he imagined he didn’t look very intimidating with tear stained cheeks and a runny nose. “Not because of _this_. I want him to want me, not want to do the right thing.”

Hunk looked at him sadly. “I mean… are you… going to keep it?” He asked tentatively. 

“No.” Lance said, shaking his head. “No, I- no.”

“Okay, I’ll support you whatever you do, you know that, right?”

Lance gave him a small watery smile, nodding. “I know.” 

***

Lance wasn’t going to keep it, that was the only thing he was sure about. It wasn’t so much the _having the baby_, because Lance was still considering that for the future, as much as the fact that he was twenty, in college and newly single, the father of his baby wanting pretty much nothing to do with him. 

It hurt. A lot, actually. He avoided Shiro like the plague after that. He didn’t go to the library, he didn’t go for coffee, and he didn’t even go to meet up with any of their friends for fear that Shiro might be there. He hadn’t made time to schedule an appointment yet, but until he did, he wasn’t sure that he could face Shiro. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure that he could face Shiro ever again. 

He wasn’t showing, so despite not having been to the doctor, he knew he couldn’t be all that far along, though he was still having terrible morning sickness and mood swings, as well as being constantly exhausted, so making an appointment was rapidly moving further up his to do list. 

He didn’t want to admit to being scared, but he was. Hunk had already said that when the time came he’d go with him, but he hadn’t pressed Lance as to why he hadn’t done it yet, and Lance was grateful. He didn’t want the baby, he knew that. He didn’t want Shiro’s baby when Shiro didn’t want him, but he was scared of getting rid of it, too. It was something that deep down he wanted to talk to Shiro about, for Shiro to tell him that he was making the right choice, and that they couldn’t raise a baby, not like this, not now. 

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t even look at Shiro, let alone talk to him. 

“Hunk-? I thought you weren’t coming back until-” He said, going to open the front door after there was a knock on it, blinking as he saw Shiro standing in his doorway. 

Well, there went that plan. 

“Lance.” Shiro said, body sagging in relief and Lance frowned. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked, taking in Shiro’s appearance. He was soaked from the rain, shivering and Lance sighed, standing to let him in.

“M sorry, I just- I was tryna come home and-” He said, frowning as he tried to articulate himself. 

“Are you drunk?” Lance asked, though he didn’t exactly need an answer from him. He could smell the alcohol coming off of him in waves. 

“I- no?” Shiro asked, though he didn’t sound too sure. “I don’t… think so. I mean I had one- or um… a couple… or some more, but…”

“You’re drunk.” Lance said, unbuttoning Shiro’s sodden jacket and pulling it off of him, leading him to the bathroom. 

Shiro squeaked, but let Lance drag him around, blushing furiously as Lance began to undress him. 

“I haven’t come prepared.” He said, clearly trying to sound as articulate as he could, and Lance gave him a look.

“You’re getting in the shower.” He said and Shiro deflated. 

“Oh.” He said, letting Lance shove him into the cubicle and switch the water on. “Are you going to watch me?” He asked, cheeks flushing again. 

“If I don’t you might drown.” Lance said, lips pursed and Shiro giggled. 

“I don’t think I could drown in the shower…”

Lance huffed and didn’t say anything else, really not in the mood to banter with him. Why was he even here, anyway? And drunk- at- nine pm? Lance stood there for a few minutes while Shiro let the hot water run over him, not making any moves to wash himself, and so Lance switched the water off and pulled him out a few minutes later, thrusting a towel at him. 

“There, you’re welcome, now you won’t die of pneumonia.” 

“Do I have pneumonia?” Shiro asked, sounding genuinely worried. 

“Not now, you won’t.” Lance said, opening the bathroom door and going into his bedroom to get something for Shiro to put on. 

“Oh, you cured me!” He exclaimed, rushing in after him, looking sceptically at the clothes that Lance was holding out for him. “That’s familiar.”

“Yes, it’s yours.” Lance huffed. “Do I have to dress you, too? Or can you manage that?”

Shiro pouted, taking it from him and slipping it over his head and then pulling his boxers on. “Thanks.” He said softly. 

“Why are you here, Shiro?” He asked. “And don’t give me any bullshit, I don’t need this from you right now.”

Shiro bit his lip, fiddling with the hem of his shirt as he gave a small shrug. “I just… wanted to see you.”

“You could’ve called.”

“Would’ve ignored me.” He mumbled, and he was probably right. 

“Look, let’s just get you some water, okay?” Lance sighed, running a hand through his hair and taking Shiro back out into the living room, sitting him down and going to get him a glass of water. 

“No.” Shiro said, glaring at it. 

“Why not?” Lance huffed.

“Cause. Can’t have it, I gotta talk to you.”

“I’d rather you talked to me sober, if you’re going to.”

Shiro shook his head, curling up on the couch and looking at Lance reproachfully. “Can’t.”

“And why’s that?”

“Cause…” He said, looking down. “M stupid.”

Lance snorted. “Yeah, you are, what’s new?”

Shiro frowned, biting his lip. “I love you.” He mumbled and Lance stilled, blinking at him. 

“Sorry, could you repeat that?”

Shiro looked up at him, forehead creased. “I love you.” He mumbled again, a little louder. 

“I don’t understand.” Lance said and Shiro nodded, looking down. 

“S okay.” He said. “You don’t gotta say anything, just wanted you to know.”

Lance looked at him for a very long moment. “You broke up with me.” Shiro gave a small nod. “You broke my heart.” Shiro gave another small nod. “You’ve literally _destroyed me_, Shiro, and you’re coming here drunk telling me you love me? That’s not fucking good enough.”

Shiro sniffed, nodding again and curling in on himself, eyes filled with tears. “I know. Just miss you… lots ‘n lots.”

Lance clenched his jaw, feeling the prick of tears, but he didn’t want Shiro to make him cry over this. “You just missed me.” He repeated. Shiro nodded, looking up at him guiltily. “It’s not good enough.”

Shiro sniffed again, tears spilling over his cheeks and he nodded. God, Shiro had always been an emotional drunk, and Lance didn’t need this right now. 

“Look, I’m going to get you a blanket, okay? And I’m going to go to bed, and I will deal with you in the morning.” He said. 

Shiro made a small whimpering noise, curling in on himself further. 

“What?”

“The couch isn’t comfy.”

Lance glared at him. “Whatever, fine. I can’t do this right now.” He said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back to the bedroom. “Just lie down and shut up, alright?”

Shiro nodded meekly, crawling into bed, keeping his mouth closed. Lance got in beside him, turning over and facing away from him. He shouldn’t have let him in, he should’ve kicked him out after his shower… He didn’t need this, not now. 

Despite it only being about ten pm now, Lance was insistent upon trying to get to sleep, so he wouldn’t have to think about this anymore. In the morning, Shiro would wake up and be mortified, and leave. Maybe he’d even wake up before Lance and would leave before he even woke up. Yeah, that would be the ideal situation. Then Lance wouldn’t have to face him again. 

***

As it turned out, Lance was the first to wake up. Shiro had curled around him in the night, and it seemed Lance’s body still remembered what to do, because he’d found himself turned on his back with an arm around Shiro, keeping him close. He sighed, biting his lip. He didn’t need this. He didn’t need this now. Shiro would wake up, realise what he’d said and be mortified. Then he’d leave. If he’d even remember at all… 

Shiro shifted in his sleep and Lance tensed; there was no way he’d be able to extract himself from Shiro without waking him up - Lance had spent too many nights entangled with him to know that. All he could do was wait for him to wake up and face what would come next. 

It wasn’t too long before Shiro woke up, letting out a soft sigh and nestling against Lance. Lance frowned softly, looking away. It took him another few moments before he moved again, blinking up at Lance with a soft sleepy smile, before a similar frown shadowed over his face and he moved away; almost like he’d forgotten for a moment that things weren’t supposed to be like that anymore. That they weren’t together anymore. 

He sat up, running a hand through his hair and yawning. Neither of them said anything for a few moments, and eventually Shiro broke the silence. 

“I’m really sorry.” He said softly and Lance gave a small shrug. “Thank you for… not kicking me out, and looking after me.”

“It’s whatever.” Lance said, having to look away. The way that Shiro looked in the mornings had always made him want to kiss his stupidly adorable face, and he couldn’t do that now. 

“About what I said…” Shiro said, guilt creeping into his voice. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Lance said with a shrug. 

“Yes, I do. I have to tell you everything, because it’s not fair on you.”

Lance looked at him, waiting for him to go on. 

“I’ve been an idiot.” He started with and Lance scoffed. “And I think I didn’t tell you what was going on, because I knew that you’d tell me what an idiot I was being, so I ran away instead. Breaking up with you was the worst decision of my life.”

Lance bit his lip, forehead creasing. Shiro… how could he mean that? After all these weeks of Lance trying to fill in the gaps? Come to terms with all the reasons that Shiro might have left him?

“I… It’s probably going to sound insignificant when I say it out loud, but… it was a lot at the time. I’ve just… I’ve got a lot going on. My grandmother’s not well, and it’s… not looking good, and I’ve been trying to pick up extra shifts everywhere to make up the money to go home and see her one last time, but… I’m not getting enough, and I’m juggling school; which isn’t going well, I’m falling behind in everything because of it, I’m always exhausted, because when I’m not working I’m studying, and when I’m not studying I’m working, and when I’m not doing either I’m worried out of my mind, and… I had no time for us- for you, like you deserved, I could feel myself getting snappy and short tempered and I couldn’t put you through that. You’ve got your own shit, Lance, you don’t need mine, and I knew that if I talked to you about it then you’d try and take some of it to lessen it for me, because that’s just who you are, and… I didn’t want that for you, and I know it sounds stupid, but I didn’t know how to deal with it and so I ran away to try and just get through things.”

Lance looked at him for a very long moment, letting out a shaky breath, not realising how close to tears he was. 

“Well, you’re right about one thing.” He said softly. “I would’ve told you you were being an idiot. But… I get it. Things can seem overwhelming and like there isn’t a way to deal with them, and so you get scared.”

“I’m sorry.” Shiro sighed. “I’m just… I’m so sorry.”

“I believe you.” Lance said softly. “Is that- I mean… are you just telling me that you’re sorry, or…?”

“I don’t want to insult you by asking you to take me back, but… If there’s any chance, I…” He broke off, looking down. 

“That’s not all we’ve got to think about.” Lance admitted. 

“I know, I-”

“No.” Lance said, cutting him off. He looked at him and took in a breath. “I’m pregnant.”

“You- what?” Shiro asked, eyes wide. 

“I’m not keeping it, I just thought you deserved to know.” He said softly.

“You’re not?” Shiro asked and Lance shook his head. “How long have you known?”

Lance shrugged. “A few weeks. It didn’t really click what the symptoms were, I thought I was just depressed.” He said and Shiro looked at him sadly. 

“Have you… I mean, have you made an appointment yet?” He asked and Lance swallowed, shaking his head. “Why not?” He asked, voice small, as if he was almost afraid to ask. 

“I keep going to.” Lance admitted. “I just… I think there was part of me that didn’t want to do it until I’d talked to you about it, but… I didn’t want to talk to you about it.”

“Is there a part of you that wants to keep it?” Shiro asked, looking down and Lance followed his gaze to where he had one arm wrapped around his abdomen. 

He gave a small shrug. “I don’t know.” He said, voice small. “But… even if there was, we’re in college, you’re saving up to go and see your grandmother, there’s… nothing about this is something that we could deal with.”

“We could try.” Shiro offered softly. 

“Shiro…” 

“If you don’t want to keep it, then don’t. But if there’s part of you that _does_, then we can find a way.”

“How?” Lance asked. “You’re saving up all of your money to go home, I’m not going to be able to work for the full nine months, and that’s not going to give us enough money… What would everyone think? Most of the people here don’t even know I’m trans, and… a baby? That’s a pretty big commitment, Takashi- you’re twenty years old and you’d want to be tied to me for the rest of your life like that? Even if we didn’t work out, you would _always_ have that.”

“Lance.” Shiro said softly, cupping Lance’s face. “I promise you that’s not the biggest issue here. We could do it… we could find a way. I don’t have to go back home.”

“You do.”

“I don’t. She’d understand, Lance, you’ve talked to her before, you know she would. Do you think she’d want us to not go through with this because of her?”

Lance shook his head. 

“We can find a way, I’m working two jobs, and you can work for at least some of the time, and you know our friends will help us out, too.”

“You seem really sure about this.” Lance said, biting his lip. “I mean… ten minutes ago we weren’t even… I don’t know _what_ we are, and you wanna have a baby with me?”

Shiro was quiet for a few moments. “If I’m pushing, then don’t listen to me. I don’t want to push; it’s your body, and it’s your choice. You don’t have to do anything because you think that’s what I want, you don’t even have to make a decision yet-”

“Is it what you want?”

Shiro bit his lip. “It’s awful timing, but… if this had happened and we hadn’t broken up, I’d be of the same opinion. I know that everything did happen and I really hurt you, and you don’t even have to take me back, let alone want this with me. All I know is that I’m in love with you, and I made the biggest fucking mistake, and I miss you so much, and if this is something that _you_ want, then I want it, too. I don’t want anything that you don’t, anything that’s going to make you unhappy or feel trapped, or dysphoric, or anything. Please don’t think that I do.”

Lance nodded, taking all of that in. “Well… let’s start with trying to fix us, first, okay? I haven’t done anything about it yet because I _don’t_ want to, but… we’re going to need to think about it properly, and talk to our friends, and make plans, and insurance plans, and… I don’t know if we can do it.” He said, looking down. 

Shiro gently took his hand and pressed a kiss to his fingers. “Then let’s think about it.” He agreed. “Let me win you back first, okay? Let me make up for everything I did wrong, and treat you right, and then we can talk about it again.”

Lance smiled softly, nodding. “Are you gonna kiss me?” He asked, and Shiro smiled softly back, gently cupping Lance’s face and pulling him in, brushing their lips together and gently kissing him. “You can do better than that.” Lance murmured against them, and he felt Shiro smile against him, gently repeating the press again and again and again, lovingly kissing him and holding him close.

**Author's Note:**

> i really dont like this much im sorry lmao its not my best but here we are i thought id post it anyway we've got other things on the way that are good i promise dfjfjkdjkjkf
> 
> anyway comments are greatly appreciated nonetheless <333
> 
> [you can check me out on twitter here](https://twitter.com/thatsforme2know)


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